Preparing to Decide: Thinking About Divorce? Here Are Your Options

If you're thinking about divorce, you're not alone — and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

Decision paralysis — the phenomenon of being so overloaded by decisions that we become unable to make them — is common in divorce. That’s because divorce isn't a one-size-fits-all process. Every marriage is different, and so is every divorce. Along the way you’ll make hundreds of decisions — some big, some small — and one of those (big) decisions is choosing your divorce path.

There are several paths, depending on your situation, your state laws, and how much drama (or peace) there is between you and your partner. Some splits are quiet and cooperative; others feel more like battles. Either way, understanding your options can help ease decision fatigue and make a tough process feel a little more manageable.

Let’s break down the most common ways people get divorced — and what each path actually looks like, step by step.

Grounds for divorce

While some states require grounds for divorce — that is, one of several accepted reasons to file for divorce — most states are no-fault.

No-fault states

States with no-fault divorce do not require you to prove any wrongdoing, such as cheating. The marriage just isn’t working anymore — and that’s reason enough.

What it looks like:

• Meet your state’s residency requirement (usually 6 months, but exceptions apply in certain states).
• File a petition for divorce citing irreconcilable differences.
• Serve the papers to your spouse.
• You both work out terms for custody, money, property, etc.
• Submit a signed agreement to the court. Some states even allow you to submit the papers online; you never have to show up to court.
• Possibly appear for a brief hearing.
• Get your final divorce decree.

At-fault states

Some states (Alabama, Mississippi, and Utah, just to name a few) offer both no-fault and at-fault divorces. In these states, one spouse must prove the other has violated the terms of marriage for it to be at-fault — think infidelity, abuse, abandonment. Not every state still has at-fault divorce, but it’s important to determine if that might be in play, since it can affect things like custody or alimony.

What it looks like:

• Talk to a lawyer — this gets complicated fast.
• Gather evidence of misconduct.
• File for divorce on fault grounds.
• Serve your spouse.
• Prepare for hearings, testimonies, and maybe a trial.
• Let the judge decide on custody, money, and more.
• Final ruling and divorce decree.

Case-resolution approaches

A full breakdown of approaches can be found in our article Know Your Case Resolution Options, but the main thing you...