Preparing to Decide: How To Think About Divorce When You’re Stuck In Your Marriage

If you’re stuck in that uncertain, murky middle ground of your marriage — not miserable, but not fulfilled either — you’re far from alone. Many people remain in relationships, feeling emotionally “stuck” because of children, financial entanglements, fear of being alone, or sheer uncertainty about what happiness even looks like anymore.

The question, “Should I stay or should I go?” isn’t just about love. It’s about identity, values, and the sometimes paralyzing complexity of real life.

Ultimately, this is a deeply personal decision. We can’t hand you The Answer. And we won’t try. What we can offer are tools to help you better understand yourself, resources to explore your options, and ideas to support you as you make a choice that aligns with who you are and how you want to show up — for yourself, your partner, and your family.

The in-between zone: what it is and why it’s so common

This in-between place — what I often call ambivalence — is extremely common. I have found in my practice that the decision to divorce is not a single event, but a slow, emotional process that often unfolds over years. 

In many cases, people stay in marriages because of...