Your Post-Divorce Plan: Negotiating a Prenuptial Agreement

“Negotiating our prenup was so painful that the experience tainted our whole marriage.”

“I thought we had agreed to what was going to be in the prenuptial agreement, but this agreement is so aggressive...how could he/she let the attorney write this?”

“We just wanted a simple prenup, so why do we have this very long contract that I don’t understand?”

These are just a few of the unfortunate comments I’ve heard from clients about their prenuptial agreements through my 25+ years of practicing as a collaborative attorney and mediator in New York. The decision to have a prenuptial agreement is often fraught with feelings of anger, fear, embarrassment, sadness and stress at a time when the couple only wants to feel utter excitement and hope for their future together.

In my view, the process by which couples negotiate the terms of their prenuptial agreement greatly contributes to their happiness with the decision to have such an agreement, and with the ultimate substance of that agreement.

The traditional process of drafting and signing a prenuptial agreement typically starts with the party who wants the prenup most retaining a divorce attorney who then meets with the client alone. Perhaps they speak at...