Dating: How to Kid-Proof Your Phone Post-Divorce

It can feel uncomfortable, if not downright mortifying, when your child takes your phone and sees a text from someone you went on two dates with inquiring about your weekend plans. If you're seeking to have a little more privacy on your iPhone or Android device, you've come to the right place. These straightforward tips can help you establish boundaries between your dating life and parenting responsibilities.

Manage your notifications

Even the most harmless message can cause a stir when it appears on your lock screen at the wrong moment. For dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, you can either disable notifications completely or adjust your settings so message previews aren't displayed. This way, you’ll be aware when someone messages you, but the content won’t be visible to others. On both iPhone and Android devices, you can also configure notifications to appear only when your phone is unlocked, allowing for better control over when and how messages are displayed.

Use aliases

Rather than saving someone’s contact as “Mark – Hinge” or “Ashley Tinder Date,” try using initials, vague nicknames, or inside jokes. Labels like "Jamie T.” or “Coffee Alex” keep things subtle while still identifying the individuals. iPhone users can also create official nicknames in the contact field, allowing their phones to display those instead of full names. These slight modifications help minimize the chance of inquiries you’re not prepared to address, particularly from a curious child browsing your texts.

Keep dating convos separate

Consider keeping chats within dating apps or using secure platforms like Signal or WhatsApp. These applications can often be locked individually with a passcode, Face ID, or fingerprint, providing an extra level of precaution. This way, even if your child temporarily accesses your phone, your personal chats will stay out of reach.

Enable "Do Not Disturb"

If your child is using your phone to watch videos or play games, consider activating Do Not Disturb mode. This feature stops texts, calls, and app notifications from appearing on the screen during their use. It’s a simple, one-tap solution to safeguard your privacy without needing to adjust individual app settings. 

On an iPhone, enable this through the Control Center by tapping the crescent moon icon. For Android, swipe down from the top of the screen and tap on the Do Not Disturb icon. This ensures a distraction-free experience for your child and keeps your personal messages hidden while your phone is in their hands.

Modify your laptop settings, too

As a final tip, if you're using a Mac linked to your iMessage account, remember to also...